Cultural Clashes Over Money Threatens Marital (Part 1) Harmony

• Couple Individuality Over Finances Should Be Taken Seriously

• Share Insights and Progressive Actions With Each Other

On the invitation sent out to well wishers and family of marrying couples, the word matrimony is used to define what the union is. The brings the individuals together into a married state and describes the bond itself. So, why come into marriage and start experiencing clashes and soul-wrenching disagreements over money, right?

Now we know love is not the only ingredient to make the union last forever because what will the future hold when certain battering factors come along the line. Money and spending money remains a factor we need to settle on as we ride the waves of marriage. Not being able to manage money appropriately can crash a high soaring enviable marriage at any time.

Let's talk about cultural factors that threaten marital harmony.

Coming from different backgrounds, couples may bring to bear their individual cultural doings into the mix. Now these differences may clash with the other's view point and we remain at a logger head for more than necessary. Here are some ways to handle such situation.

The couple must agree on a fixed monthly or annual amount (or percentage of income) dedicated to extended family support before any requests arise. This is a 'Family Support Budget' plan drawn to guide and guard when dealing with the family members and commitment. Also, decide together who qualifies for help and under what conditions (emergencies only vs. regular remittances).

Let the extended family see a united front when it comes to financial obligations and decisions: “This is what we’ve decided as a couple.” The couple should revisit the agreement annually to adjust for income changes or new needs.

The couple must Institute radical financial transparency from day one. Ideally, the couple should share all account logins, run monthly 'money dates' to review transactions together, and commit to no secret accounts or transfers.

Use credible financial tools to make transparency routine rather than accusatory. When cultural secrecy norms arise, name them gently: “I understand this was normal in your family, but for us, full openness is non-negotiable.”

From the beginning, draft a joint 'Family Money Values Statement' before or early in parenting. Sit down and write core principles you both agree on such as generosity with boundaries, education as priority, financial independence by adulthood etc.