Are Cultural Norms Silently Affecting Our Mental Health?

From the moment we are born, culture begins to shape us. It teaches us how to behave, what to value, and even what to feel or not feel. Nigerian culture is rich, vibrant, and full of tradition. But beneath the celebrations, festivals, and family gatherings, some of the very norms meant to guide us may quietly be affecting our mental health.

Many Nigerians grow up hearing phrases like, “Be strong, don’t cry in front of people,” “Marriage should happen by this age,” or “Family always comes first, even if it hurts you.” These expectations, though rooted in tradition, can create invisible pressure. They shape how people think they should behave rather than how they actually feel.

For a young woman struggling with anxiety, or a young man quietly battling depression, these words can feel like chains. It’s not about disrespecting culture. It’s about recognizing that some norms, when rigidly enforced, may make people hide their struggles instead of seeking help.

In many Nigerian families, mental health is still taboo. Talking about sadness, stress, or anxiety is often seen as weakness. Parents may unintentionally teach children to suppress emotions, leaving them to wrestle with heavy feelings alone.

Take Aisha, a 28-year-old accountant in Lagos, who says: “I’ve struggled with panic attacks for years, but my parents told me to just ‘toughen up.’ I didn’t know I could talk about it with anyone. I felt like I was failing.” Stories like Aisha’s are common. The pressure to maintain a perfect family image or to avoid “shame” often leads people to ignore their mental health until it becomes unmanageable.

Marriage is another area where cultural norms can hit hard. From a young age, many Nigerians are taught that marriage is a milestone that defines success, especially for women. This can create anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression for those who aren’t ready, are single, or are in challenging relationships.

Similarly, family obligations—like caring for extended relatives—can be rewarding, but they can also be exhausting. Saying “no” is often frowned upon, leaving people feeling trapped and guilty for prioritizing their own mental wellbeing.

Community opinion matters deeply in Nigerian culture. Gossip, judgment, and societal pressure often push individuals to hide their struggles. Mental health challenges may be ignored, joked about, or blamed on spiritual weakness rather than recognized as real health issues.

For Chike, a 32-year-old teacher, the pressure was overwhelming: “When I told my family I was seeing a therapist, they acted like I was broken. I felt more alone than ever, even though I was trying to get better.”

This fear of judgment can prevent people from seeking help, creating a cycle where mental health issues worsen silently. It’s important to remember that culture itself isn’t inherently bad. Traditions, values, and family bonds are beautiful and grounding.

The challenge is when cultural norms clash with mental wellness. Small shifts can make a big difference: encourage open conversations about feelings in families, normalize therapy, counseling, or support groups, celebrate vulnerability as a form of strength, and teach children and young adults that prioritizing mental health is not shameful.

By creating spaces where emotions can be expressed safely, Nigerians can honor their culture while protecting mental wellbeing.

The truth is, mental health doesn’t need to be at odds with cultural identity. Families can teach resilience, respect, and community support without shaming individuals for needing help. It starts with listening  truly listening to what people are feeling, instead of what society expects them to feel.

It’s about asking, “Are you okay?” instead of assuming strength means silence. When culture embraces understanding and compassion, it no longer becomes a source of pressure, but a foundation for healthy minds, hearts, and relationships.

Because at the end of the day, a culture that loves, supports, and listens is one that heals.