Every night the same scene plays out in thousands of Nigerian homes.
The children are already in bed… or so you think.
You walk past their room and see the blue light still glowing under the door.
Earphones in, eyes glued, completely absorbed in another Nollywood series or scrolling endlessly on TikTok.
You want them to make good choices even when no one is watching.
But right now the loudest voices reaching them are coming from Lagos movie stars, viral skits, dance challenges, “big boy” flexing, and influencers who make shortcuts, flashiness, and certain attitudes look exciting and normal.
And you quietly ask yourself the question many parents are asking in 2026: “How do I raise children with solid values in this kind of world?”
That feeling is real. That worry is normal. And you are definitely not alone.
In today’s Nigeria, screens are everywhere. Nollywood has exploded—hundreds of films and series streaming on Netflix, YouTube, Prime Video, iROKOtv, and local apps every month. Many stories capture our culture brilliantly: family loyalty, the hustle of Lagos life, forgiveness after betrayal, the triumph of hard work. But others glamorize quick money, revenge, flashy lifestyles, casual relationships, or even occult themes in ways that can quietly shape how young people see success, beauty, and right versus wrong.
TikTok moves even faster. One endless scroll can show a 12-year-old funny comedy, creative dances, cooking hacks, and then—without warning—content pushing body-image pressure, materialism, “sharp guy” shortcuts, or attitudes that clash with respect, modesty, and long-term thinking. Parenting coaches and school counsellors in Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt report the same thing: many children now spend 2–4 hours or more daily on social media and streaming, often without much adult guidance. Algorithms keep feeding them more of what keeps them watching, and it’s easy for values to get shaped by whoever has the most views.
Banning phones or Netflix completely rarely works long-term. Kids usually find workarounds, trust breaks down, and resentment builds. The more effective path is guiding them thoughtfully—helping them learn to think critically, choose wisely, and build inner strength so they can enjoy culture without being controlled by it.
Make Values a Natural Part of Daily Life
Children absorb far more from what they see you do than from what you say. If they watch you handle stress with patience, speak respectfully even when annoyed, show gratitude for what you have, and make honest choices, those habits sink in deeply.
Create small, consistent family rhythms that reinforce the values you care about: Eat dinner together a few nights a week without phones on the table. Have short “check-in” moments where everyone shares one good thing and one challenge from the day. Celebrate small wins—good grades, helping at home, being kind to a sibling—with words of praise or a favourite treat.
- These moments build connection and give you natural openings to talk about character without it feeling like a lecture.
Set Clear, Age-Appropriate Boundaries
Boundaries show love—they protect growing minds. Tailor them to age:
- Under 10–12: Limit personal devices. Use shared family tablets or TVs with parental controls (Google Family Link, Apple Screen Time, or simple router-level restrictions). No unsupervised social media.
- Teens: Allow more freedom but with structure—phones off by a set time (9–10 p.m.), no devices in bedrooms overnight, TikTok/Instagram limited to 60–90 minutes after schoolwork and chores are done. Be transparent about monitoring so they know it’s about care, not spying.
Explain the reasoning simply: “We set these rules because we love you and want to help protect your focus, your sleep, and your mind while you’re still growing.” Involve older children in creating the family media agreement—it reduces arguments and gives them ownership.
Teach Them How to Think About What They Watch
The real goal is discernment, not just protection. Watch some content together and talk about it casually afterwards. Ask open questions:
- “What do you think that character was feeling?”
- “Do you think that was a fair way to solve the problem?”
- “What message do you think the video is really sending?”
Point out patterns gently: when success is shown only through money and cars, when revenge is celebrated, when respect for others is missing, when shortcuts are glorified. Contrast it with real-life examples: people you know who succeeded through patience and integrity, or stories of everyday heroes in your community.
Encourage positive alternatives too. Follow creators who share creativity, humour, education, or family life in uplifting ways—Nigerian comedians with clean content, cooking channels, motivational speakers, or young people building real businesses. Show them that fun, trends, and style can exist without crossing lines.
Help Them Build a Healthy Sense of Self
Social media and many Nollywood stories push unrealistic standards—perfect looks, endless wealth, instant fame. Children can start feeling “less than” if they don’t match up. Counter this daily:
- Praise effort and character more than appearance or achievements.
- Teach gratitude—maybe a quick family habit of naming three things they’re thankful for each evening.
- Let them contribute meaningfully at home (chores, helping younger siblings, small family projects) so they feel capable and valued for who they are, not what they own or look like.
When mistakes happen—maybe they watch something they shouldn’t or start copying negative behaviour—stay calm. Use it as a teaching moment. Apologise if you overreacted, talk it through, reset the boundary, and move forward. Showing grace and accountability models the very values you want them to carry.
Build a Support Circle
Parenting in this environment is hard work. Lean on others: school counsellors, trusted family members, church or mosque youth groups, parenting WhatsApp groups, or community organisations. Many Nigerian schools and faith communities now run sessions on digital parenting and media literacy. Share experiences. Learn from families who are navigating the same challenges.
The Long Game: Consistency, Connection, and Patience
Raising children with strong values in 2026 won’t be perfect. There will be arguments, slip-ups, seasons when they push back. But steady love, clear boundaries, open conversations, and genuine connection make a lasting difference. Plenty of Nigerian families are already seeing the results—teenagers who use social media responsibly, create positive content, choose integrity over shortcuts, and stay close to their parents even through secondary school and university.
Your family can write that story too. Start small tonight: have one phone-free dinner, watch something together and talk about it, agree on one new rule. Small, consistent steps compound over time.
What part of this feels most challenging or most doable for you right now? Share in the comments—we’re all figuring this out together as parents in today’s Nigeria.
Comments (0)
Please sign in to join the conversation.
Loading comments...