UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
Bisi Adewale
“What do you think the word “intimacy” means?” asked the marriage summit Facilitator,After we they took a miserable stab at defining the word, she responded with, “In-to-me-see. Intimacy is seeing into each other’s life. It’s knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s being aware of each others fears, hopes, and dreams,it is entering into eeach other heart and world, it is fulfilling Genesis 2:24-25
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
A whole lots of us define intimacy in marriage as sex and all bedroom activities associated with sex. While all these are certainly a valuable part of the marriage relationship, a healthy marriage has to have emotional intimacy to go the distance,it is more than sex. Animals have sex but not emotional intimacy, ungodly Men sleeps with total strangers in one night stand, others even sleep with prostitute which they know just slept with other Men, these involve sex but not intimacy, intimacy involves the mind and souls not just the genitals.
While Sex is Biology, intimacy is Chemistry, while sex can take place within short moment it takes a long time before emotional intimacy can be develop. What makes a marriage succeed is not just sex,but emotional intimacy.
What exactly is emotional intimacy? Emotional intimacy occurs when there is enough trust and communication between you and your spouse that it allows you both to share your innermost selves and become totally Vulnerable to each other,no dark room,no hidden agenda,no secrets,no skeleton in any cupboard. Deep emotional intimacy is when we feel wholly loved,honored,accepted, respected, and admired in the eyes of our mate even when they know our weaknesses,innermost struggles and dirty linens and failures.
Emotional intimacy fosters kindness,love compassion and support, providing a firm foundation for a marriage to last a lifetime.
Too many marriages today are base on lies,unrealistic expectations and try to exist without emotional intimacy. No matter the glamour,no matter the wax we put on the broken pots to cover the crack,Over time a marriage lacking intimacy will become empty, lifeless, and the husband and wife will find distance in their relationship. Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds marriages together, yet it is challenging for many of us to experience.
