Marriage comes with challenges that vary depending on the personalities involved in the union. The result of the challenges whether good or bad; is determined by the effort of the couples in the marriage. This is why Kathy Murray, a feminist gave up her control over her husband to save her marriage.
The mother of four revealed that despite her first marriage that failed she realized that early in her second marriage she was already creating a gap between herself and her husband as they fought all the time.
According to her, trying to control her husband because she earned well, she was the breadwinner of the family because her husband was just a sales rep and the feeling that she could train their children better than her husband are the reasons for the fights. In her words, she said: “I acted like I was in charge”.
She mentioned that her attitude drove her husband away from her as he chooses to play with pets and watch television instead of listening to her nagging. She said her husband was no more interested in her sexually.
Kathy exposed that her orientation about marriage changed when she stumbled on a book titled The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. She spoke about her discovery of her faults. She said:
“It was incredibly humbling to recognize that I had something to do with why my marriage was failing and perhaps even why my first marriage failed. But it was also empowering.
I didn’t know I’d been disrespectful to my husband or even that I’d been controlling and critical.
I thought I was being helpful and logical. I just didn’t know that respect for men is like oxygen, so no wonder my husband was no longer interested in me sexually”.
She mentioned that adjusting her negative behaviors have brought about positive change in her relationship with her husband who treats her now with respect and love. She added that her children had also noticed the change and it has since affected her home which is now very peaceful.
Concluding, she said:
“Surrendering is acknowledging you can’t change or control anyone but yourself. That’s empowering!”