The stages of a relationship: which one are you in?
The first six months of a relationship are wonderful! There are all flowers, sweets, and hundreds of emojis in text messages, which are read and answered immediately between the couple. You are happy and so in love with your mate. They just can not get enough of each other. But a year later, everything is over …
Statistics show that most relationships go from a state of crazed to warm passion in about 18 months. The feelings that people associate with having butterflies in their stomach dissipate during this time and the couple begins to wonder if they should continue with the relationship.
What most couples who end their relationship at this stage do not realize, is that this is only a phase. It is a part of the process and happens with all couples.
When it comes to relationships, experts agree that there are five distinct steps. Every relationship goes through these stages. Those that last successfully pass through all five, but most relationships get stuck and crumble during phase three.
Phase 1: Passion and Romance
This is the honeymoon or the stage of passion. Full of kisses and caresses for no particular reason. It is when you are completely taken over by your mate and are too blind to see any faults.
Phase 2: Getting serious
This is still within the stage of passion or honeymoon. You are still blinded by love, but you have the clarity to see that this relationship has long-term potential. This is when the relationship becomes unique and you get to make long-term plans with your partner.
Phase 3: the basis of the relationship
The third phase is when the relationship becomes real. The cards are on the table and you see your partner as who he really is. Physical touch, such as holding hands, kissing, and other forms of physical intimacy may begin to slow down a bit. The butterflies are gone and your partner does not look as magical as before.
Phase 4: Going Beyond Passion
Once you have chosen to move from stage three and stay in that relationship, you develop a deep and intimate bond. This is the time when couples really begin to merge their lives. Serious discussions about marriage, children, and finances follow and plans are made to move the couple forward as one.
Stage 5: Becoming a team
The five-stage of the relationship is when the couple becomes a solid team. The relationship becomes “I and you,” where decision making and the team becomes more important than individualism.
Most relationships that end up being no more than the third phase. Other relationships can last for years and never leave the third stage, but the relationship is not healthy and no partner is really satisfied.
The first thing you should understand when you start to feel disillusioned is that feelings do not sustain a relationship. Feelings are unreliable because they vary and are subject to mood states with external factors
When you reach stage three, you have the power to determine how long it lasts. Exiting this phase requires you to make a decision. You must decide that your relationship is worth it and you must choose to make it work.
Here are some things you can do to help move your relationship out of stage 3:
Acknowledge that questioning your relationship is both normal and necessary.
Talk about your concerns with the right person.
Make a decision and then get to work.
Work actively to develop your relationship even more.
Try new things. Do things your partner likes to do. Be romantic, on purpose. Relationships need dedication. It’s time to get moving.
It’s not how you begin, it’s the journey that counts. Make your journey count well.
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