Are you thinking of taking your relationship to the next level? Congratulations! This is the dream of most relationships out there, but before getting started out on the wedding preparations, make sure both of you are completely ready for it. Marriage readiness is a crucial topic and one that must be fully thought over. Prepare a pre-marriage checklist (one that suits your situation) and discuss matters fully with your partner.
Here are my suggested checklist items:
1. Am I ready to get married?
This is probably the most important question one should ask; preferably before the engagement, but this question can linger after the excitement of the initial engagement has worn off. If the answer is, “No” don’t go through with it. This Question should not be answered with sentiments, or pity, check your level of preparation because preparation precedes readiness and readiness precedes performance. What I will say is be ready before you say I do.
2. Is this truly the right person for me?
This question goes in line with, “Am I ready?” Can you put up with the minor annoyances? Do you two fight all the time or are you generally fine? This is a question best asked before the engagement, but can bothersome all the way up to the ceremony. If your answer is, “No” again don’t go through with the marriage. I expect you to have provided an answer to this before getting to preparation for marriage.
3. How much will our wedding cost?
This is up to you, it depends on the type of wedding you want to throw, as much as I know, there is no set standard for marriage, it’s all about you. Plan this based on your status and I say in a loud voice pocket!
4. Do you want children, then, how many?
This question is very essential especially if a party has got kid(s). If one party wants kids and the other doesn’t, resentment will grow. If the spouse that wants children has to give up that dream, they may wind up hating the other and may go so far as to end the marriage if that is what they truly want. If kids happen anyway the party that didn’t want kids may feel trapped or tricked. So discuss this thoroughly before making any major commitment.
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5. Will/should we combine bank accounts?
Some couples do and some don’t. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this one. Decide what will work best for your dynamic. The answer may change at some point, as needs change in life so the choice made today might not be the permanent one. This is very important checklist as money is the highest cause of conflict in marriage after sex.
6. Our sex life
Sex, I call it marriage vitality; this is the number one thing you share in common. It’s of necessity to have it discussed before marriage, don’t forget marriage is a life long affair
7. Our Visions
This is a very important issue and needs some time to dwell on. Discuss freely and openly what your thoughts on marriage are, what’s acceptable to you. Expectations about job, ambitions and general expectations of the marriage must be spoken about. Will your spouse’s personality accommodates your job? Don’t forget no two persons can walk together without agreeing Amos3:3
These are just a fraction of the potential checklist for marriage. You may have some that are completely unique to your situation and that’s fine. If you feel a topic is important to you, bring it up.