HOW PARENTS CAUSES TROUBLE FOR THEIR TEENAGE CHILDREN
-By Bisi Adewale
When Tola and Tosin Adewula (Name have been changed) 15 and 17 respectively were arrested for cultism and armed robbery, nobody could believe it, they look too innocent for such a crime, but they confessed to the crime.
To them, they should hold their parents responsible for this. According to them, their parents always travel for business for about three months in a row, leaving them at the mercy of the housemaid (who was molesting them sexually from age 7) and their neighbors whose wild Children introduced the little children to all manners of crimes that can only be imagined.
Many Parents are the cause of their Children’s waywardness. Some may not admit it but the truth is many parents are failing God in their duties towards their Children.
These are some of the ways parents are causing future troubles for themselves:
BLACK PARENTING: Some parents are quack, they know close to nothing about parenting, they are not ready for the task of raising a Child.
ABSENT PARENTING: Some parents have no time for their Children, they are not just there for them. They travel a lot, leaving the housemaid to parent their Children for them.
ABUSIVE PARENTING: Some are abusive and difficult thereby hurting their Children through beating, hitting and inflicting injury on them which causes great pain.While the Children keep dreaming about the day they will be free.
HELICOPTER PARENTING: Wikipedia defined a helicopter parenting this way: “A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead, overseeing their child’s life”
Helicopter parenting is only good for a Toddler if you do it with Teenagers, you will hurt your relationship with him and create trouble in that home.
PERMISSIVE PARENTING: Permissive parents indulge their Children. They permit so many things as long as their Children wants it and place few demands on their children.
They give their Children whatever they demand, allows them to go wherever they want and do whatever they like. They’re too lenient, avoids confrontation, and allows unhindered self-regulation. See what the Bible says about it. “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Proverbs 29:15.
CRITICISM: Correct your Child, yes. Criticize your Child No!. Criticism yields no results, it rather makes People angry, hurt and stubborn. Correction focuses on what was done wrong and to put it right. Criticism focuses on what was done wrong and puts down the person that did it without suggesting the right ways to do things.
Correct your Children in love and don’t criticize out of anger, that will make your Children shut down against you forever.
LACK OF PROVISION: Failure to provide for a Teen can push him into so many vices and Crime. It is your duty to provide food, clothing, academics, health care, shelter etc for your Children. You can’t afford to fail them.
MARITAL PROBLEMS: Parents’ marital troubles can also affect their Children negatively and make them to go wayward and delinquent. That is why you must stop the fight and fight for the destiny of your Children. Instead of fighting each other making life difficult for your children and hurting their future. Please, stop the battle and get involved in the life of your Children together.
UNINVOLVED PARENTING: These are Parents that raise children like “Free range animals” they leave the Children to do whatever they want, they are not involved in their life at all.
The uninvolved parent demands almost nothing and gives almost nothing in return, except near-absolute freedom. This style is low in both demandingness and responsiveness. At its worst, it can verge into neglect and negligence of duties
AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING: This parenting style is based on authority, command, and order. They don’t believe in showing love and tenderness. Authoritarian parents are very strict and controlling. Most Children sees them as wicked. They have a strong sense of justice and of the need for obedience. They’re big believers in clearly stated rules.
They believe Children “Must see the light” (behave as ordered), or “feel the heat” (be punished). Such parents take a dim view of being challenged. Give-and-take with their children is discouraged. If you are an authoritarian parent, be ready for a serious battle with your Teens, which may lead to delinquency.
DIVORCE: Separation or divorce are known to affect Children negatively. A recent report shows that Children do easily get over the death of a parent and they find it difficult to get over the divorce of their Parents. Some never get over it even as they grow up into adulthood and get married. Teens are known to be terribly hurt and affected when parents divorce, many do go into crimes and vices in the process.