Adultery has been identified as one of the reasons while most marriages are collapsing in Nigeria.
According to the President of Igando Customary Court, Lagos, Mr. Ruphus Adeyeri most married men and women were engaged in extra-marital affairs for reasons best known to them. “Most spouses are perpetrators of infidelity. They get involved in it for one reason or another,’’ he said.
He attributed the high rate of infidelity among couples to economic reasons. “There is a limit a woman can bear. When she discovers that her husband cannot provide for the family, she seeks assistance outside. The issue of money makes women to cheat on their husbands. When he cannot meet their needs financially, she falls for a man who showers her with money.’’
Adeyeri said that when spouses become unfaithful to each other, most of them result to divorce as the only solution. He said that many partners who come to court for dissolution of their marriages usually allege adultery on the part of their spouses.
The court president noted that insatiable sex could also lead to extra-marital affairs, pointing out that many spouses always accuse one another of dissatisfaction or denial of sex. “Many couples complain of being sex starved by their spouses, or that they are not satisfied with their spouse’s sexual lives, while some couples withhold sex as a form of punishment for their spouses.’’
He said that adultery set in when a partner feels neglected by his spouse, who pays more attention to his/her career, children or relatives, thereby leaving the partner no choice than to seek for attention outside the marriage.
He asserted that spending little time with your partner could increase the chance of infidelity. According to him, the secret of a successful marriage is trust, patience, understanding, confidence and unity of purpose.
The counsellor advised couples to always place their family on the rock of Jesus Christ as he is the head of the home. He urged couples to be good communicators and listeners as this would strengthen their relationship.
According to him, divorce has a social effect, especially on children, and the society is put at risk if the children are not catered for. And they may turn out to be nuisance to themselves and the society.