Enemies Of Great Marriage
-By Oba Samuel
Marriage is like a cube of sugar, it will always attract ants except you keep it in a tight container.
Just as ants is the enemy of sugar, marriage also have enemies which can destroy it if not checked on time. These are:
- Selfishness: Great marriage is not a solo or self-centered game, it’s a selfless venture. Selfish attitudes which propel the use of ‘I’, ‘Mine’ ‘me’ and ‘myself’ can devour any marriage without stress. Any habit that makes you think about your personal needs without considering your spouse first will put your marriage in a deplorable state. Stop being selfish and you will be on your way to building a great marriage.
- Infidelity: In this present time, nothing separates couples like infidelity. Majority of couples are battling with extramarital affairs because it’s just a click away in this era of youtube,Facebook,snapchat ,whatsApp and other social media platforms. Don’t be carried away with the stature ,hair or facial look of any other lady. Infidelity will always terminates in sorrow as it exposes you to HIV/AIDS,STI and waste your finances. Get satisfied with your spouse.
- Criticism: Critics don’t get companion in their spouse but a competitor. When you’re fond of criticizing your spouse for everything, blaming, condemning and you are too difficult to please, your marriage will get weaker and weaker until it hit the rock if you fail to address it now.
- Lack of Forgiveness: Being in love is not absence of misunderstanding but ability to forgive after every misunderstanding is what strengthens marriage bond. We have many single mothers and divorcees in the society today due to lack of forgiving spirit. You can’t love forever if you are not ready to forgive.No matter the gravity of the offence, be ready to forgive your spouse. If you don’t give room to forgiveness in your marriage, you have created room for divorce.
- Lack of Knowledge: Great marriage is a product of great knowledge. Many are facing turbulence in their marriage today not because the spouse is bad or demonic affliction but it is as a result of lack of knowledge. You can’t succeed in any field without having adequate knowledge in that area. Likewise in marriage. When people in marriage has not taking time to read books about marriage, finances, in-laws ,sex and parenting ,they will have lots of trouble to battle .
6.Busyness: No marriage can survive on its own. You need time and attention to grow love and build intimacy in marriage. Unfortunately, many are too busy with job,career,business and ministry without having time for their home thereby creating gap and building walls between themselves. Such a lifestyle kill love-feelings and attachment bond. Spend quality time with your spouse to eat,play,talk and go on vacation together.
- Vengeance: Vengeance is a very dangerous tool that destroys marriage in this modern time. Once couples fail to forgive each other, vengeance becomes the order of the day. Don’t give room to vengeance in your marriage, have a forgiving spirit.
- Financial Challenges: Love becomes difficult when money is not available. It creates tension and it destroys companionship .When in a financial difficulty, don’t fight your spouse. Work together as a team in prayer and pursue your dream.
9.Wrong Foundation: The foundation upon which a marriage is built is very important. Some marriage may not stand the test of time if it was built on wrong foundation like deceit, stature, money and other material things. Build your marriage on love, trust and Christ the solid rock.
- Negative Communication: Positive communication breeds love, romance and unity in marriage while negative communication is like a bomb that can turn a magnificent building into rubble. Cutting remarks like ‘’fool, idiot, stupid, bitch’’ among others can destroy any marriage .Avoid it. Speak positively to your spouse.
11.Sexual Problem: Sex which is supposed to be an engine oil to the car of marriage has become a source of problem to many marriages due to its misuse. Sexual denials, trade by batter sex, olden days myth of ‘’ sex should not take place in the afternoon, during pregnancy, when breastfeeding and the use of sex toys and blue films can create a serious problem among couples in marriage. Get right information to build your sex life from books like: Sexual fulfillment In Marriage and Secrets of An Irresistible Wife By Bisi &Yomi Adewale.
