DON’T KILL YOUR HUSBAND, THIS IS HOW TO DEAL WITH HIM IF HE IS CHEATING ON YOU
By Bisi Adewale
It was discovered that the majority of women that killed their husbands did so because they felt or confirmed that their men were sleeping with other women. Technology has made adultery very common nowadays. It is easier to get connected to people you’ve never met before through social media like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc.
We now have a website that connects both singles and married people for sex at a fee paid to the website. Dating websites for married that want to cheat on their spouses and for married to meet singles that are ready for sex are now very common on the net.
Pornography sites are said to be more than 75% of all websites on the internet. It is also easier to keep an illicit relationship outside marriage through the use of phones, Whatsapp, social media. etc
Please note that lots of women are also sleeping around but it is more prevalent among men, but don’t generalize, it is not all men that are sleeping around.
For example, a young executive came to me some weeks ago, his problem, they just brought a young lady to be his secretary who is so sexy and daring, he wants to know what to do to avoid sleeping with her and not to cheat on his wife, he said he had been married for 13 years and have never slept with anybody apart from his wife. I have many men coming to us like this, who are still committed to their vows, yours may be one of them and if not, killing him is not the answer to your problem.
If you discover or you perceive that your husband is sleeping with someone else apart from you there are many things you must do.
Read this carefully and follow the instruction given to avoid falling into error and become a murderer:
1. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT, DON’T BASE YOUR LIFE ON RUMORS
A woman was to see a male client in a particular hotel lobby in Ikoyi and went with one of her staff, the staff has no business to be in the meeting and she was supposed to be on another project at that time.
I asked her; why are you taking your staff with you?
She said to avoid rumours because if my driver sees me coming to a Hotel with a man without anybody with us, he will begin to carry rumours that are not true.
This really got me thinking, lots of women are dying today based on lies, misrepresentation, and rumours.
So get your facts right, if you get rumours, investigate but first give your husband the benefit of doubt.
2. GET YOUR EVIDENCE RIGHT, DON’T BASE YOUR MARRIAGE ON SUSPICION.
A young wife called my office some months ago, she told us that her husband was sleeping around, we later brought both of them to our office only to discovered that her grouse was that her husband has not been sucking her breast ever since they got married and this makes her think he must be sucking someone else’s breast somewhere. But her husband is a “Holy Man” who believes sucking one’s wife is a sin, he told me, “sir why should I be sucking her breast when I’m not a baby”. We opened his eyes to Proverbs 5:5-9 and he was very shocked. He returned home to do his job and the wife called me with great joy the second day and that ended the issue of suspicion of immorality.
Please never accuse your husband wrongly if you don’t have evidence, it may not be what you think. It can be so hurtful if he is not doing it and he is accused of doing it, it may even make some people go ahead and do it.
3. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTION
No matter what happens, even if you get all the evidence needed and they are so watertight, take control of your emotion, let your maturity show here. That is why marriage is for only matured people not for babies in nappy or diapers. Cry if you feel like, please cry loudly when alone or with your counsellor, it will help your emotion. It will help you to calm down and think rationally.
4. KILLING HIM WILL GET YOU INTO DEEP TROUBLE
Remember and put it behind your mind that killing your husband will get you into hot water with the law, distrust your life forever, put you to shame, hurt your children dearly, make you a widow and your children fatherless. The cost is much more than having him sleep with another woman. One woman said, “My husband is a womanizer but I won’t kill him, at least they do release him to come back home after finishing with him, he needs to come back home to pay rent and school fees”
5. DON’T FALL INTO DEPRESSION
Some Women did not kill their cheating Husbands, they end up killing themselves through overthinking that leads to negative thinking, depression, high blood pressure, suicide and lots more.
Do you want to die in order to make the other Women happy? Don’t give them that joy, not at all, NO IMMORAL MAN IS WORTH DYING FOR. Wake up girl, cry if you must, yes, do cry, it is good for your health, but take care of your thinking, take charge of your mind, don’t allow them to steal your joy, sing loud, dance, shout for joy, NO SORRY, NO SORROW!
6. DON’T TURN IT TO A BATTLE
As a counsellor, I know that not all women that killed their husbands really intended to kill them, not at all, the problem is, they allowed their emotions to take the better of them and turn their homes to a battlefield, used any weapon that just came to their mind in their houses; knives, pestle, fry pan, grinding stones and whatever.
They turned the battle against themselves in the process and became murderers and killers, what a burden too heavy for a woman to bear.
7. APPLY WISDOM
Some people may tell you not to ask him, you will ask him, you will confront him but you must apply wisdom. It is not something to handle rashly. In one of my Books titled: PROTECTING YOUR HUSBAND FROM STRANGE WOMEN I devoted a whole chapter to discussing how to confront a cheating husband. It is very technical you need to know what to do. You can get the book on Familabooks.com, I will advise you to download the ebook version on your phone so that you can read it silently to yourself.
I think every woman needs it especially the chapters that deal with how to protect your own husband from other women and how to discover if your husband is cheating on you. Click to download the book now.
8. CHECK YOURSELF
Don’t just blame your husband for sleeping around, check yourself. One study shows that 80% of Nigeria Married Women hate Sex. It also showed that sex is what causes the major crisis in Nigerian marriages as lots of wives are frigid.
Most married men want sex 2 or 3 times a week, lots of married women only want sex once a month. One husband told me yesterday that he had not been able to sleep with his wife in the last 6 Weeks because she said she is tired.
It is wrong for any man to sleep around, nobody can justify that for any reason. But it is also wrong to deny your husband sex. Up your game, sex is legal in marriage. You said “I do” on your wedding day “GO AND DO”. If they do it better out there you will lose your husband to them, don’t be foolish, get sexy with your husband. You can’t win a man with a hooked bra and padlocked pants. Your body belongs to him, suffocate him with sex so that when he sees other women they will look like men to him.
You will also need to download my book titled: THE SECRETS OF AN IRRESISTIBLE WIFE to know how to be a bedroom expert to your husband and turn him to a Lover Boy. Click Familabooks.com to get a copy of the book on your phone now.
9. UP YOUR GAME
So up your game in every area of wifehood. Cook right, pray right, dress right, talk right, behave right and sex him right, deal with him till he forgets his surname, he is your husband, what is he looking for outside that you don’t have, but are you giving him, check yourself and get to bed and stop wearing jeans knicker to bed or tying wrapper around the house like a woman of 17 century.
10. CHECK YOUR ATTITUDE
What about your behaviour at home. An immoral man told me that his wife does stress him at home but those girls treat him with care. This can be true of lots of women. They see the ring as the right over their husbands to treat him like trash and have their ways the way they want it. Sorry girl, if you treat your King like a Trash, you may be enthroning a new Queen in your position. (Hope I’m not been too harsh on you)
11. DON’T BOTTLE IT
Don’t ever bottle your discovery about your husband. No, you need to speak out but speak right. If you bottle it one day you may burst, you may hurt yourself or hurt or kill him
12. PRAY ABOUT IT
One of the best solutions is prayer. Talk to God about it. Commit your emotions and the situation to God. Commit your husband to the hands of God before you speak to him
13. DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOME
Don’t make the mistake of leaving your home because you are angry with your husband. If you do you will just hand over the keys of your home to these small girls. Don’t be tempted to leave.
14. REACH OUT TO THE GIRL
You may need to reach out to the girls in some cases. It can work if the lady never knew he is married and she is being deceived. But if the lady is the private prostitute type this may not work but you can give it a try. A young wife called the lady going out with her husband recently and introduced herself as his wife, the girl was so shocked as the guy told her he is not married. The side chick apologized and broke the relationship.
If you must talk to the girl, please be cautious, do not fight, do not shout, the lady may be rude and non-cooperative, don’t bother, just speak to her conscience, tell her you are sisters, please emphasize the sister point. Beg her, talk to her soul, let her know what you and the children are passing through at home because of her, let her know how irresponsible your husband has become, let her know that one day she too will be married and how will she feel if they do the same thing to her.
One wife got information that her husband is sleeping around and she investigated it. One day she knew her husband was likely going to visit the girl. She paid a bike to trail his car to wherever he was going, to this the bike man did. The wife decided to visit her husband in the girl’s apartment, lo, it was her husband that came to answer the door when she knocked, he was shocked. But the wife did not fight (you can’t win when you fight a man’s mistress, he will use your attitude to tell the girl that that is the reason he is running away from the house) she spoke to the conscience of the girl, she spoke kindly to the girl and told her that the man must have been deceiving her like, he has been doing to other girls of the age of his daughter. The said shocked girl was too confused to utter a word than just to say, he said he is not married because the wife died about three years before they met and promised to marry her.
That was the end of that relationship, the man came back home shamefully and the situation really got to him, because the wife never fought when he got back home. His food was ready on the table and the wife welcomed him back like a royal. The result, he learned to keep his erection at home.
15. TALK TO A COUNSELLOR
Before you confront your husband, you will need to see a counsellor, not your family and his family who will complicate the whole matter.
A Counsellor will evaluate the whole matter and teach you what to do to get your husband back, so wherever you are, look for a counsellor quickly, don’t die in silence.
If you don’t talk to a counsellor now, you will need to talk to a lawyer later when you are in trouble.
If you want to reach me to talk on the issue of your marriage, let’s talk now, don’t die in silence.
Send me a mail or call right now. I will be glad to talk to you
Email: familybooster@yahoo.com
08068312004.
Get my Books on Familabooks.com and read my other articles on bisiadewale.com
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Please, share this for all women to see, let us stop these incessant domestic killings, every life is sacred, every life is important, don’t take any life.
ⒸBisi Adewale
