Former President Barack Obama turns Father Christmas (Photos).dailyfamily.ng

With the advent of computer and other computerized gadgets in Nigerian banks today, we now get our cash faster and swifter thereby making banking in Nigeria more convenient. But it will be worthy of your laugh to note that Nigeria banks can really be a place to get humour and a license to slap someone.

 

# 8 The Pen Collectors

They are seldom gentlemen, always in a hurry whenever they visit the bank. You often see them borrow a pen from a customer, write with it and in most cases when they are through, they start looking for the one who borrowed them the pen and if unable to identify the owner, pen ownership automatically transfers to them. For crying out loud, how much is #20 that you can’t have a personal pen of yours. Please, we advise you watch out for these set of people.

ALSO READ: Hilarious: Autocratic Father shot himself in the leg while correcting his Wife

 

#7 The wifi searchers.

These set of folks are always visiting the banking hall for free wifi connections. You see them sit down quietly like a responsible dude at one edge of the lobby in the banking hall. They are often those guys who have good command of the English language so that whenever any bank official questions why they are waiting, they can just frame up some lie, well carved in English language with good grammatical usage. Study them well na lie dem dey lie, ordinary #150 no dey their pocket wey dem fit take browse for cybercafé. Yahoo boy no laptop fit pay Olamide but in your case, guy look for job!

 

#6 The first time cocky ATM users

Happily you see them walk poised to the ATM as if they were going to restore the functionality of the machine. They are always confident as if they’ve been using it since the era of Noah. They slot in the card and spend up to a month on the machine simply because they want to withdraw a thousand and two hundred Naira. Then instead of blaming their inability to use the machine, you hear them say; “I don’t even know why this machine is not dispensing. Haha, the machine that someone withdrew from, some minutes ago and you knew it yourself. So when next you visit your bank, kindly tell the bank manager to paste a copy of the ATM operator’s manual on the body of the machine to save you from these time-waters the next time you have an emergency at the ATM because these set of people seem to have boils in their mouths and brains which may prevent them from talking, so please you can be the Good Samaritan.

 

#5 The “I dey your back” folks

These set of people can really be funny. They are the type that will never queue up while we are wasting our precious time on the queue for hours. You see them come into the banking hall, tap you hurriedly at the back as if they are calling your attention to an impending doom and be like; “bros abeg I dey your back” and then they leave probably for the customer care unit. Later on you see up to like six hefty guys fighting over a small space at someone’s back, space which can’t build a mini toilet. Umh! Shit happens.

ALSO READ: From Joke To Love:WomanA gets married three years after proposing to stranger as a joke

 

#4 The No protocol team

Umm, when you see these set of folks I beg fear small ooh. It is either they are top politician or account holder of up to a hundred million naira or even more. They are the type that will never wait to queue like you guys did but will instead walk straight from the entrance down to the cashier of their choice as if they’ve been called to come and process their transaction. And one funny thing is that the cashier seeing this will never send them back to the queue. Why will she or he even do that in the first place, when the customer could be friends with the bank’s chairman. The cashier can talk when he/ she has secured a job at the refinery? Mehn, these set of folks can really be provoking. They make you wanna grab a AK 47 and start shooting somebody!

 

#3 The bank door ‘Rejectees’

By their fruit you shall know them. These set of people are always assisted to open the bank’s security door. They are often not a first timer but, they never learn to keep their jewelries of gold at home. They prefer bringing them all to the bank for the sole purpose of stressing the bank’s door and showing off their earthly possession to mankind. If you see any of them when next you’re in your bank, shoot them and jump queue, or just aim a freaking giant magnet at them……

 

#2 The slip wasters

about a fortnight ago we still saw one, this time, a pretty looking lady probably in her early thirties, holding a blackberry touch and a Samsung tab. All because she wants to withdraw just a thousand and five hundred naira, she already wasted six withdrawal slip. We tried checking the kind of account she was operating on the wasted slip and behold, to our greatest surprise, it was even a student account. We asked ourselves, which account does she want the manager to write those ones she wasted? Well we think if the bank’s cameras are really working, such people ought to be caught and given some query for wastage. Or better still deduct the cost of the wasted slip from their account.

 

#1 The bank alien

If you’ve never seen these set of people before, then lets say probably, you don’t have a Nigerian bank account. These set of folks are guilty of deliberately forgetting dates and stressing people minding their business. We wonder if they are really breathing the same air we inhale because we see no reason why one should forget the present day date like that. They be like; “25th December 2015 abi?.” No it is not 2015, it’s 2045 A.D., Of course, you should know the bank slip don’t come with dates, someone will take up that responsibility. Well, when next you come to the bank, kindly carry your calendar along with you for your private use alone. We hope that is accepted by all.

Follow us on Facebook – Dailyfamily.ng, Twitter – @DailyfamilyNG , Whatsapp +2348188889427, BBM PIN D86722A7 and instagram @dailyfamilyng for more updates.

Comments

comments

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You may also like

Politics

JUST IN: Buhari opens Ministers’ performance retreat amid ‘sack’ speculations

post-image

President Muhammadu Buhari opened a two-day mid-term ministerial performance review retreat in Abuja on Monday, amid reports that more of his ministers will be sacked for poor performance.

The yearly retreat, which is attended by Ministers, Permanent Secretaries, and other top government officials, is held to evaluate the administration’s top functionaries’ performance.

President Buhari announced the dismissal of two of his ministers during the weekly Federal Executive Council (FEC) meeting on September 1.
They were the Ministers of Power, Engr. Saleh Mamman, and Agriculture and Rural Development, Alhaji Sabo Nanono, at the time, informing others that the action would be ongoing.

According to presidency sources, the President may be waiting for the results of the continuing review process before taking action, which may include removing more of his cabinet members whose performance and conduct do not satisfy the administration’s standards.

President Buhari said he would stay for the entire two-day performance review retreat at…

Comments

comments

Read More
Culture and traditional lifestyle Travel

5 Common Myths That Are Untrue About Edo People

post-image

5 Common Myths That Are Untrue About Edo People

Edo state, affectionately known as the “heartbeat of the nation,” has a slew of prejudices that need to be debunked.

5 Common Myths That Are Untrue About Edo People
5 Common Myths That Are Untrue About Edo People

Here are 5 common myths that are untrue about the Edo people.

Edo state, with an estimated population of 8 million people, is a state rich in culture, history, and tradition.

Edo state is home to the Oba of Benin and has produced numerous notable Nigerians, both dead and alive. There are, however, a lot of misconceptions regarding the state.

Read Also: The things you never knew about Fulani Festival; The Sharo

There are a plethora of activities…

Comments

comments

Read More
Lifestyle Travel

6 tips for survival in the city of Lagos

post-image

6 tips for survival in the city of Lagos

6 tips for survival in the city of Lagos
6 tips for survival in the city of Lagos

Surviving in Lagos is a challenging task. It is a place of great appeal to both people wanting to relocate to Lagos and those who already live and work there.

Anyone who succeeds in Lagos is widely regarded to be successful everywhere in the world. Lagos is the country’s most populous metropolis and a major commercial hub.

In a city like Lagos, knowing how to climb through and make life meaningful is essential. Without further ado, here are 6 tips for survival in the city of Lagos, these are key strategies for surviving Lagos’s madness:

Read Also: 5 Places where you can buy a pet in Lagos

6. Socialise and meet people with caution:

You have to be very careful…

Comments

comments

Read More
Pets and animals Travel

6 interesting places you must visit in Jos

post-image

6 interesting places you must visit in Jos

Jos, the city located on the Jos Plateau, during British colonial rule, Jos was very important to the mining industry and is presently the trading hub of the state and country at large as commercial activities are on the increase steady.

The beautiful city has cool weather like that of Europe, with the presence of mountains and hills making it possible. Sometimes ice-hailstones fall during the rainy season because of the cooler temperatures at high altitudes.

These cooler temperatures made Jos the favourite holiday location for tourists from the past colonial times to the present day tourists and visitors of the city.

So in case, you’re thinking of visiting the City of Jos anytime soon or in the future, Dailyfamily provides 6 interesting places you must visit in Jos.

Read Also: The things you…

Comments

comments

Read More
Education Radom news Travel

Top 5 Markets in Lagos – you need to visit them

post-image

Top 5 Markets in Lagos – you need to visit them

 

Top 5 Markets in Lagos - you need to visit them
Top 5 Markets in Lagos – you need to visit them

Any society that is meant for humans to habitat, must have a marketplace as a crucial social amenity. The marketplace is far from just a place to buy and sell but also a place that attracts tourists and social gathering of various kinds of people for several reasons.

We have a lot of unique markets in Lagos known for unique reasons like the Computer Village in Ikeja is known for ICT appliances and the Oshodi market is known for foodstuff and clothing.

Read Also: Nigeria to hoist world’s largest flag

Here are the top 5 markets in the city of Lagos:

1. Balogun…

Comments

comments

Read More
Business

Insecurity: CBN Governor, Godwin Emefiele releases shocking statement on Nigeria’s Economy

post-image

Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN, Godwin Emefiele has pointed out that the country’s current economy cannot grow.

Emefiele disclosed that the nation’s economy cannot grow due to the current level of insecurity.

The CBN boss spoke at the end of a two-day monetary policy committee meeting in Abuja on Tuesday.

According to Emefiele: “If you want an economy to grow, the level of insecurity must be low because if there is a high level of insecurity like what we see today, the economy will suffer.”

Read Also: Buhari reveals why he paid $469m for Tucano aircraft ahead of National Assembly approval

He also disclosed that Nigeria will receive 12 fighter jets from the United States, US, to fight insecurity in July.

The CBN boss said the arrival of the jets followed a pact signed between the…

Comments

comments

Read More
Business

See 5 Small Businesses You Can Start With ₦10,000 In Nigeria

post-image

Despite the economic downturn, Nigerians are known to be very industrious people wherever they are found as they are very proud of this unique trait. With so many ideas floating around the table, you would think that everyone is an entrepreneur but the sad reality is there is little or no capital to make these ideas become real.

What many may not know is that there are some businesses you can start with as little as ten thousand naira or less. Let’s take a look at a few of these lucrative businesses you could start with such a small amount

1.    Fast Food Business

This is an evergreen business for every season. It’s always in demand.

People need…

Comments

comments

Read More