4 Ways to have intimacy with your partner having your children at home

by Akinola Olabode December 25, 2017

written by Akinola Olabode December 25, 2017

19 Killers of sex in marriage every wife must avoid-dailyfamily.ng

4 Ways to have sex with your partner when your children are home

The reality is that having sex with children in the house is a challenge. A big challenge, not a little one, and it’s a challenge that lasts for many years.

Mothers of newborns are exhausted. They are sleep deprived, over touched and often feel like they are dripping from every orifice. They don’t feel sexy, and often they can’t imagine ever feeling sexy again.

When your children get older, new challenges arise. Somehow, they now seem more interested in your life and your bedroom. Drawers and closets may be less off-limits than you think and wandering visits at night can become the norm.

And just when you think it will be easier because your kids are teenagers, and they put themselves to bed, you realize- gasp- that they stay up later than you do. And who the hell wants to have sex with your children sitting outside your door? It can put a little crimp in your moaning and groaning.

So what’s a person to do?

First of all, understand that you are really not alone. These are real concerns that affect almost everyone with children. Here are some concrete suggestions that may make things a bit easier, but I’m sure with a little creative thinking you and your partner can come up with more:

1.Give up on sex for the first 3 months after your baby is born. Really. If you want to let it go, just give yourself permission. These are uniquely exhausting times. Your partner may not even mind that much. They may be exhausted themselves. If they do mind, then incorporate a once or twice a week “One way sex night” – it takes the pressure off.

2. Buy a lock for your bedroom door. Mmmmhhmmmmm… yes, I know… still, BUY A LOCK. I have heard every excuse in the book for not having a lock (including not wanting to ruin an expensive designer door that wasn’t meant to have a lock – clearly the designer had a bad sex life or no children). You need a lock. If your child pads out of bed and starts banging on the door, you can still choose to stop in the throes of passion and open the door. But at least you will not feel worried about the little face peering over the side of the bed asking what you’re doing.

3. Leave the fan in your bathroom on or buy an inexpensive white noise machine. Needing to control the sounds of your passion can be very inhibiting.

4. Negotiate with your partner a specific time and place that you will have sex once a week and work together to make it happen. Scheduling may not sound sexy, but trust me, its way sexier than not having sex.

Having sex with children in the house is a real challenge. But luckily it’s one that can be overcome.