3 ways to listen to your spouse better
Over time many couples wonder what happened to the fluent communication they had at the beginning of the relationship. It is common to complain about the lack of dialogue and even informal and entertaining conversations.
Boredom takes over when they are alone, there is no subject beyond what is strictly necessary. With the communication locked, they end up getting each with their thoughts, chores or on their cell phone.
If you have felt your estranged spouse and solitude has settled in your days do not allow it to continue so, never be convinced that “marriage is like that”. It’s amazing how we can accommodate ourselves in bad situations!
If you want to “jump out of this boiling water” you need to get close to your spouse, trying to understand what has changed, and especially how you can best understand each other again.
There is no way to improve the dialogue without being available to listen to your spouse. These tips can facilitate this much-needed resumption:
1. Take the initiative to talk
Do not wait for your spouse to talk, start an affectionate dialogue. Try not to charge; Talk about your feelings without dramas. Just say that you miss talking or even start a conversation without preamble.
Choose a light theme, remember that it is a rapprochement and not discuss the relationship. Give the hook for your spouse to speak, the idea is to listen to him, right? Leave it at ease and show genuine attention.
2. Maintain eye contact
Looking into the eyes of the speaker is very important so that the person feels heard. Eye contact with your spouse allows him to understand that you are focused and ready to listen.
Your facial expression is also important, be genuinely attentive. Beware of cell phones, computers and televisions, ideally you turn off everything that may divert your attention.
3. Do not interrupt
How will your spouse feel heard if you do not let him complete his reasoning? How will he understand the importance of you talking if you will soon draw your own conclusions? You have to think about it! Often, we are busy creating our response or argument while the spouse speaks.
This is not a good hearing, you can not understand his message if you are focused on your own message. Genuine listening requires full attention not only in speech, but also between the lines. You can not be listening if you’re talking. Interrupting the spouse is very harmful for communication and therefore for the relationship.
Developing the ability to listen is especially important for the health of any relationship, and especially the love relationship. So do not expect something destructive to happen to start the process of listening and approaching your spouse.
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