What do you answer when someone asks if you’re in a committed relationship? Do you tell the truth or do you tell lies?
“It’s tricky,” “we’ve reached a tough patch,” “I don’t really have a girlfriend anymore,” and “I have prospective suitors but nothing serious” are common phrases.
Meanwhile, everything is a lie. Many of us are in committed relationships, yet when we catch a glimpse of someone else’s attention or pleasure; we reject our relationship status and immediately distance ourselves from our ties or, better yet, our obligations. Why? What motivates us to do this?
This article will go through three reasons why we break our commitments, but first, let’s define the term “commitment.”
There are two definitions in the Oxford dictionary.
To begin, it defines commitment as the condition or quality of being committed to a cause, activity, or another endeavor.
It also characterizes it as a commitment or responsibility that limits one’s freedom of action.
A committed relationship is defined as one in which both partners are committed to one other.
That is, there are some things you can’t do if you’re in a committed relationship. You can’t kiss your neighbor’s lips, no matter how tempting they appear to be, and you can’t sleep with the new guy in your estate, no matter how lovely he appears to be.
Despite this, we continue to do so. Why?
Here are a few reasons…
It’s dangerous to fall in love because anything might happen. Breakfast might be served to you tomorrow or next week by your spouse. S/he might lose interest in you, or worse, they could be cheating on you. You never know what may happen.
As a result of our fear, we evaluate and consider a variety of possibilities. Dayo will be there if Tunde fails, and if Dayo fails, I have Kingsley. Esther will be there if Sharon breaks my heart, and if she isn’t, I’ll contact Folake.
The objective was originally to have a second choice, then we added another option to the second option, then another option to the third option, and so on. That takes me to my second point.
We don’t always deny our commitment because of fear; sometimes we deny it because of:
The Oxford definition of Greed is one of my favorites. It is defined as a strong and egotistical desire for anything, such as riches, power, or food.
“How can I deny my connection for food?” you might wonder. Okay, but just so you know, there’s a reason why men take women to fancy places and why women invite men home for dinner. Cuisine, especially delicious food, should not be overlooked.
“This gentleman recently returned from Canada and he’s loaded, let me date him for a bit,” says one woman. “Since this other guy has money, let me date him as well.”
In certain situations, it’s not just about the money; we also want to be noticed. We need attention and approval so much that we’re prepared to end our three-year relationship to get it. We like receiving praises.
Tell us how enticing our rich baritone voice is and how beautiful we appear. These praises are what we yearn for. As a result, if someone says something nice, we immediately shift our attention to them. “Oh, I used to be in a relationship, but we broke up last month,” we say.
Big bluff! We’re simply greedy.
Another reason we ignore our Committed relationship, in addition to greed, is:
3. Lack of Self-control
One of the most common reasons we deny our relationships is because of this. We can’t control our desire, so when we encounter a woman with a hot physique, we make it our life’s purpose to copulate with her. We see someone else and repeat the procedure. Some women can’t get enough of a gorgeous man who smells well, while others like men with dimples.
Whatever it is, whether it’s a sexual need, greed, fear, or the fact that you’re no longer happy in the relationship, you’ll need a lot of Self-control to stay committed.