The position and contribution of a good wife in the life of her husband cannot be overemphasized. The journey of marriage that will be full of pleasant and peaceful experiences requires a combination of a man and a lady with good character, prerequisite knowledge and loving hearts that will work together to build a blissful, fruitful and impactful marriage.
The word of God says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of The Lord” (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
Almost every guy you meet would tell you some of their expectations for marriage. A lady that will fit in most cases must have unique qualities and irresistible characters as mentioned in the word of God in the book of Proverbs 31:29, “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all”.
A wife material and a great wife must, therefore, equip herself and acquire the relevant knowledge, information and skills to be exceptional and irresistible.
Here, I will be discussing the ten (10) wifely qualities that every woman must possess to make her attractive to the right man and which will also make her marital journey enjoyable for herself and husband.
- GOD FEARING
Regardless of how nice an individual is, no one is immune to certain errors and mistakes. Everyone is prone to certain funny attitudes; but when you allow God into your life as your Lord and Saviour, He takes over the government of your life; you become a new person; wrong attitudes are tamed; and your way of life is being controlled by the Holy Spirit who teaches you to pray, study the word of God and help you all the way. A lady is helpless without God leading her to know the right person for marriage. Her decision must not be based on the container but the content of the container. What brings the best out of her is the fear of God.
“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 KJV
A lady must possess the quality of being original and not counterfeit. She must be authentic, real, and free from affectation. She must not be hypocritical, insincere and two-faced. If you want to connect with the right person for marriage, you must stop wearing costumes. Like beget like. There is a tendency for you to attract a pretender like yourself if you don’t change now. The weight of costume you wear before marriage will determine how far many situations may consume your emotion in marriage.
“That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ.” Philippians 1:10 KJV
No man can resist a wise lady. A wise woman is a builder; a foolish one is a destroyer. Every lady must internalize biblical wisdom that can help her in navigating successfully the peculiarity of relationships, INLAWS palaver. Balancing things, managing your home and your type of husband will require wisdom.
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1 KJV
- WELL GROOMED
Any lady with an unstructured life will have disordered situations and her lack of discretion will be obvious in all that she does. You need a personal effort as a lady for your grooming because there is no man who can withstand an ill-tutored lady who is not well packaged for marriage. Public meetings, presentation, communication, dressing, exposure etc. are different ways to measure your grooming level.
“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” Proverbs 9:13 KJV
- GOOD CHARACTER
Your relationships will reflect your character. In fact, your success level in all your interactions will be determined by how good or bad you are character-wise. No man can fare well with an uncourteous, stubborn, lazy and lousy lady. Here below are some characters essential for the growth and sustainability of productive relationships, marriage inclusive:
- Virtuousness: A wife must be virtuous being possessed with unquotable virtues and values that will distinguish her among other ladies and make her irresistible.
- Trustworthy: A wife material lady must be trustworthy. She needs to convince her spouse that he can count on her in terms of money, keeping herself and uprightness.
- She must be dependable at all times.
- Pleasantness: She must be a pleasant person to relate with and be with, even when she is angry. There is a better way to register displeasures without being violent.
- Selflessness: She needs to watch out for the attitude of “I, me, mine and myself” Self-centeredness, self-justification and self-righteousness must be consciously guided against.
- Teachable: A lady who is not teachable but rigid and tends to know everything will be unattractive to any man.
- Versatility: No man is willing to shoulder all financial responsibilities at home, considering the present economic situations. She must, therefore, be capable of doing many things as a true helper.
- Hard working: Without being hard working, she can’t build a career, business and home front, relationship etc.
- Friendliness: She needs to be friendly. It is the foundation of a successful relationship. If she is hostile, people wouldn’t relate with her well.
- Positive Influencer: She must be a wife of a positive influence in her relationship.
- Smartness: She must be sharp, intelligent and mentally capable to handle the issues of life. A laid back person can’t amount to anything. She needs to take initiatives and learn positive ways of contributing to a cause.
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12 KJV
A wife must have the power and ability to return and recover readily from any unpleasant situation. It is okay to weep because of common challenges in your relationship, it is part of growth. If you are not stretched, how would you be able to stand in times of storms which you may not be able to escape? But you can forestall and stop through prayers and resilience.
“But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.” 1 Peter 5:10 KJV
You must acquire skills and develop competence in important areas of life. You must be financially competent to make and manage money. You must be good at communication. You need the ability to combine activities that are important without any aspect of your life suffering for it. A lack of skill kills. Here below is the list of important skills to acquire for your betterment and success in LIFE and RELATIONSHIP:
- Relational skill: the ability to manage relationships around you, your family, INLAWS, colleagues, neighbours etc.
- Financial skill: prudent in financial matters
- Communication skill: the ability to express yourself, feelings, fear, concern, joy and the ability to listen without being an inaccurate mind reader who confuses herself in the process.
- Dressing skill: You need to know what to wear for different outings and occasions without revealing what is meant for your husband and important to manhood.
- Multitasking skill: The ability to attend to many things and departments of your life, home, marriage, career, business, health etc without any aspect being out of balance.
- Parenting skill: You need to learn about pregnancy, delivery, child rearing, bearing and training. Raising modern-day children is not a joke and task for lazy wives.
“So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skilfulness of his hands.” Psalm 78:72 KJV
You need to be accustomed to household life and affairs. You must be homely; you can’t hate house chores and think your marriage will work. Even if you are surrounded by many housemaids, you still need to coordinate them to perform well. You must learn rules to up your game at home, learn to cook, make the house neat and presentable.
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4-5 KJV
A man with a future in mind is looking for certain qualities in a lady that will join him to enter into the beautiful picture of that future. You must be an asset, not a liability. You must add value; you must be self-motivated and inspired; you must have future ambitions. Do something great with your life and become the best choice of any responsible and aspiring man who can be a boost to your life. You need to be built up and well packaged that no riff-raff will be able to approach you.
“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.” Matthew 7:6 KJV
A wife must expose herself to the right knowledge and information that will be useful for her. There are lots to learn, unlearn and relearn if the marital journey will be worthwhile. The absence of knowledge is a disaster to a relationship.
“Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.” Proverbs 9:9, 12 KJV
Written By: PASTOR (MRS) YOMI ADEWALE